Chug
by Ohappydaze
Summary: Loki learns for the first time what it's like to be drunk. Shame he won't remember it in the morning.


Loki Odinson was not a man of morals. And may he fall dead if the day ever came where that changed. He lied, cheated, and gambled the well being of others for a thrill of his own. That is how it has been, and that's how it always will be. However, of all the sleazy things Loki had done, he had never allowed himself to do something so simple as get drunk. Yes, he drank alcohol, but not much, and frankly wasn't too fond of the taste.

He thought that this was a trivial fact, and figured no one would ever pay attention to it. Of course, he was surprised at what crowd of drunken warriors could notice when they've had one bottle _far _too many. Which is why he was now sitting blank-faced in the middle of a crowd of drunkards chanting for him to, "CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!"

Over...and over...And...over.

Thor started it, actually, which wasn't really such a shocker. It was when the night was growing darker, and the warriors and Gods were going from slightly tipsy, to "Let's all take our shirts off and do the cha-cha on the table." Thankfully, no one Loki personally knew attempted that. But, be assured, it _did _happen.

The God of Thunder had just tipped back another draught of ale before he slammed his mug on the table and let out a roar of laughter, his face pink with the heat of the fire and the alcohol working through his already less-than-capable brain. Loki had been sitting next to him, nice and quietly, sipping his water and minding his own business when suddenly a thick hand slapped him harshly on the back and made him spit his drink out all over his food.

"Thor!" He had gasped indignantly, wincing at the stinging sensation on his back, and staring in horror at that piece of soggy pumpkin bread on his plate...It had such potential...

In response to his brother's pain, Thor just threw his head back and laughed again before shaking Loki's shoulder playfully, "Ah, forgive me, brother. I forget my strength."

"And my lack of." Loki muttered under his breath, using his napkin to clean the water from the table top. Of course he went unheard, due to the fact Thor had something _far _more interesting to say.

"I have been watching you all night long." He declared, leaning the side of his face into his palm, "And I have noticed something disturbing in your behavior."

"Oh?" Asked Loki disinterestedly, letting out a small sigh before giving his older brother a look that forebode waning patience, "And what was it you found?"

"You are not drunk, for starters." Said Thor factually, counting down on his fingers, although he only had two things to say, "And secondly...You-_hic_-have made no attempt in becoming so."

Loki took one look around the room as Volstagg and Sif started screeching out the tunes of a ballad whilst Fandral did some sort of awkward slow dance around them with a man who looked like he was pretending to be a monkey.

"...No, I wonder why." Said Loki softly, looking away from the bizarre setup to give Thor a mockingly sincere look of shock. Once more, Thor hit him on the back, ignoring Loki's grunt of annoyance, and raised his glass above his head.

"Well, you need not worry, small...brother...thing. I have a cure!" He announced loudly, while Loki furrowed his eyebrows and silently repeated the word, _thing? _Thor took a single glance over his shoulder before becoming confused and turning to look over the other one to catch sight of a weary servant, "You! A round of proper ale for Prince Loki! We'll get him drunk, yet, my friends!"

He addressed the ending bit to the room with a toast of his glass, who all, becoming aware of the situation, cheered out and repeated his gesture, spilling ale everywhere. Loki grew rigid as they all joined in on Sif and Volstagg's continued song, and wished Thor would unhook his arm from his shoulders and stop rocking him back and forth so he could make his silent escape, already.

However, he didn't have the chance to slip away before an entire set of mugs, filled to the brim and foaming, were placed obediently in front of him by a servant, who nodded before retreating back to the safety of the shadows. Loki was certain that this much alcohol would kill him instantly, but since it was the daily intake of his brother, Thor seemed to think nothing of the alarming amount.

"Well!" He cried, raising a hand in threat of hitting Loki's back again. All eyes and grins in the room were on the God of Mischief when the next order was merrily barked out, "Drink!"

For the first time in quite some time, the entire room fell silent. Loki would have appreciated the peace, if a hundred eyes weren't burrowing into his being. His emerald eyes flickered up at Thor beneath knit eyebrows, then passed over each warrior, earning an encouraging nod from quite a few of them. It seemed that he wouldn't be getting a break from these men and women unless he obliged their commands.

With a heavy sigh, Loki took a hold of one of the handles of the mug closest to him, ignoring the uncomfortable rumble of hoots that filled the air briefly, then lifted it off the table. He took the glass up to his lips, and peered down at the fizzing liquid before sighing once more and taking a small sip.

The mug was placed back down, and Loki stared ahead, thinking that was that.

He was wrong for the second time that night. Horribly so.

"Whaaaat!" Thor cried suddenly, his face breaking into a teasing grin, "Am I mistaken in calling you my brother? A _sister_ should be your title, if you are going to take your ale like that! I said _drink, _Loki! DRINK! I won't be content until five of those mugs are emptied!"

As the cheers of agreement broke loose, Loki noted nonchalantly that five of the glasses wasn't even half of what was presented in front of him. And with that information, it seemed that it was time to whip out the infamous Silver Tongue to get himself out of this undesirable situation.

"Yes, I would like to." Said Loki over the shouts as he pushed back his chair, "But I will be honest, brother, I am-"

Before he could even begin to weave his clever lies, Thor had the _audacity _to lay a hand on his shoulder and shove him right back down as Loki tried to get up. Rattled by the harshness, but not altogether unused to it, Loki shut his mouth as Thor thundered directly down at him.

"Nay, brother! You will drink! Or, as I have heard the Midgardians say once: _YOU WILL CHUG!" _He declared, using the same heroic force in his tone that brought down armies and made those of weak hearts cower. Loki was not of weak heart, but it did make him shut up as the room started crying in prefect sync:

"CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!"

And that's how it happened, and now Loki had to focus on what to do next. Well, if he couldn't use words to get his way out of it, he could use his next greatest weapon. With an almost content smile, he made it seem that he was trying to pick out where to begin with the drinks when, really, he was tapping into his magic and preparing to change the ale to colored water with the same foamy top. He may have a bit of a stomach ache, and Heimdall knows he'll be running to the washroom all night, but it was better than loosing his dignity like all these idio-

Before the thought was even complete, Loki suddenly found himself being jolted out of focus by Thor's howling laughter as he said, "TOO SLOW, BROTHER!"

And next thing Loki knew, a glass of ale was being forcefully shoved into his gaping mouth, and the burning liquid was being poured down his throat. Yes, he coughed and spluttered plenty, nearly choking, but Thor didn't seem to care and kept on tilting the mug back to allow more ale to spill (more on Loki's clothes than anything, really.)

"See, brother? Do you not now see the wonders of ale?" Thor asked cheerily behind the obnoxious applause and laughter of the audience. It took until the mug was nearly drained that Loki managed to shove his brother off and take a sharp gasp of breath, only to have it broken by a violent coughing fit.

"Thor, I swear-!" He growled, doubling over and clutching at his chest. His body felt warm, now, and his head was beginning to buzz. Surely it wasn't enough to make him lose sense, but that second mug that Thor decided to pick up would certainly be enough to begin...

Loki didn't know how long it took before he was picking up the glasses on his own, and downing them at the hoots and cheers of the spectators, all the while feeling looser and looser. The feeling was almost _good_, and he began to wonder why he hadn't start drinking before.

He thought it would never happen, but, that night, Loki the Trickster became drunk for the very first time. And it was a quite the sight to see.

"Thor, I've a question for you..." The God of Mischief slurred after stumbling backward into his brother's arms with an empty mug hanging loose in his grip, "How would...How do you s-suppose I'd look with a beard?"

"Like a sleeping maiden who fell subject to the doings of boys with a paintbrush." Thor chuckled in reply, taking a step back as he tried to steady himself and the limp body in his arms. It was almost stunning how Thor, always so foolish sounding in comparison to his brother's eloquence was now the one with the ability of proper speech, due to his higher tolerance of alcohol.

As a further show of difference in drunkenhood, Loki, usually so comprehending, looked at a complete loss. Catching this and clarifying, Thor kindly added, "You are too womanish to look good with a beard."

"Oh...What 'bout a horse?" Loki asked dreamily, swaying happily in his brother's arms with the insult going completely over his intoxicated head, "Would I look decent on a...on a horse?"

"Yes, brother." Said Thor with a violent nod, "You would look very well on a horse."

"Oooh, goodie. I've always liked horses." Loki mused, raising his glass to his lips. He frowned when no liquid came to meet his mouth, then dropped his arm like a dead weight and let the glass go crashing to the ground. Thor started at the noise, and dragged Loki away from the mess, looking down at his brother worriedly.

"Loki, what is it?" He asked, unable to focus on any point of his little brother's face.

"I'ma gonna die." Said Loki mournfully, letting his body fall heavy like his arms. He slipped from Thor's grip and slowly slid down his brother's legs until he was a clump at his feet. Thor knelt down anxiously next to him, almost tipping over, and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Why's that?" He asked in a tone as soothing as a drunken grumbling got.

"I dunno," Said Loki meaningfully, glancing with a forlorn look up at the ceiling, "Life jus' got hard, Thor."

"Hard how?" Thor pressed, sitting next to him. More like falling back on his butt after loosing the ability to support himself, but we'll stick with the more dignified description.

"It just..." Loki raised a hand poetically and let out a strikingly despaired sigh, "I mean, you get all the women, and what am I left with? The floor...But the floor isn't very soft, now is it?"

Loki washed a hand over the floor as he spoke, as if asking it silently why it wasn't a better companion. Thor just laughed and shook his head.

"If it is a woman you want, Loki, I can supply you with many. Take a look around this room, and simply make a choice!" He said, waving an arm around at the drunken maidens, "Any of them would be dying to be in the arms of a Prince!"

"A Prince on a horse with a beard." Said Loki sadly, "Which I'm not...'Cause I don't have a beard, nor a horse."

"But you _are _a Prince." Said Thor pointedly, perking his eyebrows before swinging from a bottle he had just then found on the floor nearby.

"IT'S NOT THE SAME!" Loki shouted, dramatically flipping onto his stomach and turning away from Thor, who choked on his wine at the startling reaction. There was a brief moment where Thor considered comforting his brother and ordering one of the women to attend to him, when Loki let out a moan, "I want to go to bed."

"Then do so." Said Thor, retracting the hand that was supposed to pat his brother's back. Thinking that perhaps Loki was still on the subject of women, he threw in, "Would you like a bedfellow? I can see two or three maidens eying you now, as I speak..."

"No." Loki groaned, pushing himself up and staggering to get to his feet, "I don't wanna go to bed with them...I wanna try the table..."

"The table?" Thor asked from his seat on the ground, glancing at the object in question, "Brother, you cannot take a table to bed-"

"No!" Said Loki angrily, throwing a hand in his direction, "I wanna sleep on it!"

"You can't do that, either." Said Thor, watching his brother wobble away, "It's not for sleeping!"

"I DO WHAT I WANT, THOR!" Loki shouted back, raising a finger defiantly in the air and waving it around before his knees knocked into the bench of the table and he bodily tipped over on the top of it. Scrambling violently with his limbs in all directions, and knocking over everything on the table in the process, Loki hoisted himself up all the way. Then he curled up like a cat, ignoring the shouts around him.

Watching all of this with a half-amused look, Thor pulled himself unsteadily to his feet and followed Loki's path to the table. With a wide, loving smile, Thor leaned over his brother's coiled body and perked his thick eyebrows.

"Comfortable?" He inquired, taking a swallow of wine as he began chuckling.

"Yes, I am!" Loki snapped, "And you're not taking me away, so don't try!"

"Don't worry, I won't." Laughed Thor, raising his hands in surrender.

When Loki became content and quiet, Thor lowered the bottle and, with an overly joyful sigh, raised a leg to take a half-seat on the edge of the table. The sound of flutes and acoustics began to thrum and pipe in the air, bringing together a merry dance in the middle of the room. Thor oversaw it all with a warm smile, then looked down sideways to check in again with Loki.

"Why not have a dance, brother?" He persuaded, nudging the back of Loki's head, since that's all he could see from his angle.

"Why not die in a hole?" Loki retorted. There was half a beat of silence, then a kind of spluttering laugh exploded from him as he grabbed the back of his head. Thor listened with bewilderment as those happy hysterics slowly became broken and cracked sobs of anguish.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY FOOT?" Loki cried out suddenly, curling even more into himself as he began crying at an uncontrollable rate.

This went on for quite some time, and Thor calmly nodded as he took in the information of his brother's condition. He lowered his bottle to the table by Loki's perfectly normal foot, and clapped his hands. Even in his drunken state, Thor could tell it was time for Prince Loki to go beddy bye.

"Alright, Loki. Come now, you should turn in for the night. I believe all this _fun _is hurting your clever mind." Said Thor in a nearly parental voice, sliding off the table.

"No! I'm in love! You can't take me away!" Said Loki, abruptly grabbing the nearest bowl of fruit and clinging to it as if his life depended on it. Thor attempted to detach the bowl from Loki's constrictor-like grip, but ended up being hissed at rabidly. With a half-shrug of his shoulder, Thor decided it best to allow Loki to take his new love to bed, and slid his broad arms under his brother's slight frame.

Still sniffing and muttering sweet nothings to the fruit, Loki allowed Thor to lift him without argument. He didn't fuss as he was carried past sloppy dancers, and most of this was due to the fact he was steadily tipping into a drunken sleep, which didn't go unspotted by his carrier.

Frankly, Thor was stunned that Loki managed to get this far into the night, and the God of Thunder couldn't help but wear a proud smile as he stumbled out of the Dining Hall, calling out a farewell to the guests of the dinner and leaving to the sound of cheers and adieus.

Out in a hall black with night, Thor stumbled along. With Loki's weight throwing him out of balance, and the new wine-fill rushing to his head, it wasn't surprising that the God took the wrong turn to get to his brother's room. And the next morning, King Odin will stand in the doorway of his washroom, wondering how his two sons managed to pass out in his bathtub with a bowl of fruit on Loki's head.

**End.**


End file.
